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FRUIT CAKE RECIPE:
One cup water
one cup sugar
four large eggs
two cups of dried fruit
one teaspoon salt
one cup brown sugar
one bottle whisky
Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the
whisky again to be sure it is the highest quality. Pour one level cup
and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried
fruit. Mix the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
pry loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of
salt or something. Who cares. Check again. Now sift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window, check the whicky
again and go to bed.
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